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Dealing With Depression.

by Family Cat

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1.
I've built a monument to mistakes It's outside your front window So you can see it every day Pushing progress away Pushing progress away All for you to see. I'm not waiting for you, to look down on me. I'm not waiting for you, to look down to me.
2.
Google 02:20
You walk in sync with all the grace of a brick A short breath of cancer only making me sick A quick time away from all the time spent in tact Just paused and played without the mind to react You scream in bouts of indifference Small waves on shores of despondence These messages kept but surely washing away And you're left alone with all but nothing to Feel. Taste. Breathe. Slow. Don't move me. I'm home and safe, and I've locked you out The phone rings. I'm miles away. No not tonight. Instead of think about it. I'll just lie to myself. It's gonna be alright.
3.
Maps 02:44
I've been picking up problems. I don't have time to erase them. When drawing up these conclusions I put my foot to the floor. Situations are stupid when running off of this budget. Just take a look out out the window to see what I can't afford. The shift takes Too Long To hollow This Log Of over indulgence filled with my layers of doubt. So take it for granted because it isn't worth anything. If it's tied to appearance you had it lost long ago. Because I was young and knew everything, it was utterly useless. When all the points are illusions it just gets lost in the storm. All complacency manifests in reconciliation. You're being brute and abusive inside a place I call home. The shift takes too long to hollow this log Of over indulgence filled with my layers of doubt. So take it for granted because it isn't worth anything. If it's tied to appearance you had it lost long ago. All the time we take, just ends up in heartache. No more sunny days to wipe the pain away. I'm back. I'm back. I'm out again. I'm out again.
4.
I've been waiting for another try But I can't sit that long and so it passed me by. I separate. I suffocate. Just displaced. No operate. Cut through red tape for some meaning Through boundaries and force I find myself Just stick with these questions I've brought Are there ghost on the other side of life.
5.
Ghosts 04:22
I've caught myself up in a lie. These bones won't hold this frame of mine. Well I can't help but. Well I can't help but coincide. Well I can't help but. Well I can't help but feel alive. I've shot myself down in a mile. These hands still shake with fire and bile. You see my self but. It just cracks out with pressure. You see my self but. It disappears into denial. With Your Ghosts. These thoughts aside. I've caught myself up in a lie These bones won't hold this frame of mind. Well I can't help but. Well I can't help but coincide. Well I can't help but. Well I can't help but feel alive. With Your Ghosts. These thoughts aside.
6.
Take those pills in the dark. Do away with those decisions in the morning. A piece of paper on the nightstand. Let those people know exactly how you're feeling. It must be nice doing less. It's a window that only opens once a lifetime. But your motives are addressed. In the ending, solemn standing in the distance. We can't be long forgotten hulls of our impertinence. If one must fall Then all must fall in line. Leave those books on the shelf. Keep those insights and opinions on the inside. Nights unburdened by the questions. All the anguish left in advent never realized. Oh dear Christ, what I've become. All the anger held in august on a shirt sleeve. So the fabric comes undone. Torn to pieces hanging limply on a crossbeam. We can't be long forgotten hulls of our impertinence. If one must fall. Then all must fall in line. It's all right. We can't be long forgotten hulls of our impertinence. (I never conquered rarely came into an image of) If one must fall. (What I thought I) Then all must fall in line. (Would always like to be.)
7.
Christmas 01:32
I get scared when you're upset. You're dis-repaired, and I'm abrupt. You take the means and ring them out bone dry. Is this how it feels in letting go? A cacophony of candid notes. No space to breath. Its pushing on my spine. And I'm bone dry. If I can't speak then I won't choke. If you don't mean, then I don't know. I hook complacency up like a drip to my arm to force me from anger so I won't do harm. I'm just confused because I'm slow. Was it for me, or am I wrong. So put the speech like medicine onto my tongue, Because that's where I'm from. And I want yesterday I want yesterday. When I was young. And I want yesterday I want yesterday. When I was dumb.
8.
Big Black 02:27
This time and place has been erased. So far it's cold and unforgiving in this Broken circle thoughts are flooding out into my veins. Cutting purpose in the edges I've found in my skin. I'm not perfect guilt comes creeping out from every pore. I sit in silence writing things like I've heard them before. But now Too Late It's lost In space. Not existing, I just wish I was done in this sphere Of understanding you've been grinning from end to ear In forced silence. It's so silent in this. Why did you have to burn it down when you came Take me back to the place where I feel safe. These cuts and scrapes, Have scarred and shaped. With light I shift And fall to pieces, I can Scream my errors until I'm bloodshot and blue in the face. pouring over all the things that have locked me in place. I sit immobile stapled tightly into my perform. Hunched over with the weight of an empty retort. And now, It's great Nothing To say. I sit speechless in a room with the ghosts of my sins. Open-handed catching nothing but dust and dead skin. In just quiet. Why did you have to burn it down when you came? Take me back to a place where I feel safe.
9.
Scribbles 03:39
Hold my Place here. I'm not ready to go when you leave My mistakes hang on the wall. You look so pretty. I look so dim. Behind a face That I lost. My mistakes hang on the wall. I might lack luck. With too many feelings. Always miss my mark. {This space was purposefully left blank.} I'm not pretending When I say I'm sorry. It puts you off. My mistakes hang on the wall. Life inside this bedroom window feels so cold, when you are gone. You look so pretty. I look so dim. Behind a face That I lost. Hold me close so I won't fall. Life inside This bedroom window Feels so cold When you are gone. Hold my Place Here I'm not ready to go when you leave.
10.
Pith 02:59
Can't you see I'm undone. Can't you see I'm undone. Waiting for the answers. Don't want to see what I've become. Can't you see I'm undone. Can't you see I'm undone. Waiting for the answers. I know what I've become. Mirrors and maps Holes, Excuses. Nothing at all. It's utterly useless. These things that I say. These words that I say. .Still. Waiting on you. Hoarding your salt. Preserving your interests. Push it along, Make it seem perfect. To live day by day. You live day by day. Tempered like glass, you crack you won't shatter. Lift with your back. It hurts when you're older. The end, lies will fade To mean what you say. .Still. Waiting on you. Can't you see that I'm done. Can't you see that I'm done. Waiting on you. Pith. Pith.Pithpith. Pith.

about

A second-rate Godsmack. A first-rate failure. Dealing with Depression.

Thank you for listening. And if you read this, thank you for reading.

credits

released August 7, 2012

Roger - Bass
Chris - Guitar
Nate - Drums
Tyler - Vox/Guitar

Backing Vocals performed by: Sarah Fitzpatrick, Brad Santiago, Chris Compton, Matt Padaon, Chris Carreon, Tyler Walker, Roger Anderson, Jimmy Kurnel. Not Nate.

Thanks to: Jake Cunningham for taking the photos, Kane, The Fuck Hut, Old Flings, Sundials, Close Talker, Zac Hobbes and Burners, The Haverchucks, Alex Wilhelm, Mark Osbourne, Dan and Brodie for keeping the Alexandria scene alive, Cheyenne, Springtime, D Generation X, Hold Tight, Zach Finch, Sarah, Brad, Robert, Jimmy, Jack and Travis for filling in on drums, Patrick Buhse for being the loosey buhse, The Undertaker, Spencer, Rachel alive and Livingston, Tim at Double O records, Lacey and Kristy from Chattanooga, Catie from Raleigh, Chris Compton for being the man, Church of Abe, Haus Addy, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Catacombs, Grant Mccracken and Bitter Melody Records, SP records in Japan, Cats? Aye! Records, Johnnie and Kimmie from Blacksburg, 86 reality, Macrock, And PBR? We stole your liquor. And to everyone we forgot. Shut up.

All songs written by Family Cat
Photograph taken by Jake Cunningham
Artwork by Chris Carreon
Recorded and Mixed with Chris Compton

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Family Cat Richmond, Virginia

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